CRAZY ABOUT ART JOURNALLING

i want to art journal again. i must hurry up and finish work.

insane lucky streak getting away with the bare minimum then an unsolicited extension just when my brilliant idea showed up. i mustnt repeat the mistake of waiting for ideas. i was lucky. with renewed motivation ill work.

but as for art journalling, hard time breaking back in. low pressure pieces happen from time to time, but since moving to typing i havent figured out what should remain physical. so far its been meaningful quotes i dont want to lose in my shitty filing system. the beauty you see in me is a reflection of you. rumi. lovely much unlike my rendering.

frequently i think about what fleur told me when i complained about the curse of awareness in creativity. i know, she said, and then went on to sound like nike. so i did do it.

(seeing parallels between personal and nonpersonal work)

showed up on the page despite resistance it was fucking ugly. i think about tearing it out from time to time. the ugliness you see in me is a reflection of you? i still dont know what i did back then that made it feel so effortless. i do know actually. it was not knowing. x-) ouch.

i want to work in conditions that coax creativity out. to do lists, quick jotting, nothing precious, a little abuse and collage perhaps?

collage. marianne introduced me. paid service but felt meaningful. grown a lot since then. thinking about how much ive changed, maybe thats why i avoid people from my past and feel uncomfortable with constants. courage, dear heart.